It had helped the Psion to know that his boyfriend still cared. Certainly seeing those text replies from Travis did him wonders, and made him have hope that things could potentially get better between the two of them. But he wasn’t out of the dog house yet, he knew. There was still so much that he had to do to prove to his boyfriend that he wasn’t going to fuck up again. Not fucking anyone was a good start, yet how was the shifter to know if Garrett was telling the truth or not? No thinking negative, he’d always tell himself when he got to thinking about their situation. How could he not? He’d screwed up, plain and simple – and he knew that. In fact he wouldn’t have blamed Travis if the shifter never wanted to talk to him again.
Oh what a tangled mess his life was – no matter how much he could try to run away, he’d always be faced with the betrayal that he had committed, blatantly and knowing full well what it’d do to his boyfriend once it was found out. The little part of him that wouldn’t have said a word, it was the same part of him that he pushed aside and tried to ignore. The thing about it was that he had to say something. In the time that he’d been dating the shifter, things had changed about the Psion. He wasn’t so set in his ways now. The old him would have jumped the bones of his co-star without giving it a second thought. Yet there was this part of him now – the better Garrett, he tried to tell himself – that was trying hard to make the right decisions. It was something that he was trying, but he didn’t know how much of that Travis would see, or even if he wanted to see such things.
He could tell, even on the phone, that Travis was seething. He heard it in the shifter’s voice, sensed it from the other end of the line when the shifter fell silent and wouldn’t say a word to him. Oh he’d fucked up bad, and he knew that. It tore at his heart at how much he knew that – but instead of shutting off his own emotions, he let the feeling sink in and he started crying once he had hung up the phone. Hence the shower, and hence his desire to throw himself out of the next plane he’d come across. But his mind kept reminding him how much he cared. It kept reminding him, also, of how deep the shifter’s claws were into him now. Even if he had wanted to, Garrett found that he couldn’t just walk out of the shifter’s life – even with the thoughts that that might be the best thing for him. Garrett wasn’t cut out to be in a long term relationship. In spite of this, however, he was trying. Against all odds, he was trying because he did care.
Showered, changed, and now at the door to answer it, Garrett had to prevent himself from blushing when Travis gave him a look. He knew that look, and he knew he earned it. Clearing his throat, he said, “Yeah, I’ll get that for you. Make yourself at home.” It was his home, too, he wanted to say to the shifter – yet he was already forcing himself into the kitchen to get water for both of them. There was a bottle of champagne in his fridge that had been there since before Christmas, something he had hoped to share with Travis during gift exchanging and them spending the holiday together. But that just hadn’t happened. Shortly after the incident with Milo and Travis, he’d taken the next job his agent could get for him and hopped the next plane to get there. He’d not had time to say goodbye to anyone – but he had told Travis that he was leaving, though he worded it carefully as to not get it across that he was actually leaving the shifter.
He came back into the room where Travis was waiting and handed him a blue glass with a few cubes of ice floating in water. “I wanted to talk, Travis,” and then he said, honestly, “I missed you, and I wanted to see you. How are you?” He wasn’t avoiding. What he was doing was he was easing Travis into the conversation, get him comfortable before they started talking about where they were, and if they had any ground to stand on. Or, worse, if they just wanted to end things here. He looked at Travis, and swallowed as that thought crossed his mind. “How was your Christmas and New Year?” Again, easing. Trying to make it seem as though he was trying to relay to Travis that he still cared – and that he still loved him.