Fugue State

a state or period of loss of awareness of one's identity

 

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 Circus Freaks, Tag Kenzie/Felix
Oct 24 2017, 11:46 AM
34
posts
74 Hybrid Black Market Errand Boy/Driver
wolf/vampire
"I wish I knew what it was like to care enough to carry on. I wish I knew what it was like to find a place where I belong...but I am machine, I never sleep, I keep my eyes wide open."
Children of Michael/Hybrid Shelter
Homosexual
Single/Unshipped
Trin

awards

In Training
Carnival
She/Her | PST | 3/3/3 | Codi#7635

"I wish I knew what it was like...
to find a place where I belong."

The scents permeating through the air were a mixture of cotton candy, peanuts, beer and sweat. All of which were just fine on their own, but together, it was almost nauseous. Underneath the large big top, the circus known as Requiem had set up camp, intent on giving a good time to those that were curious enough to venture forward. Wild animals roared and banged on the steel cages they were kept within, clowns practiced their deceitful tricks amongst the other performers and contortionists bent their bodies in abnormal directions for an applause.

All of these things had been among what Trinity had gotten rather used to during his time here, often waking up early in the morning to. From the first iconic moment that he had come across what was called the Circus, he had been taken under its strange spell. People seemed happy here, happy to entertain and bring a smile to countless faces while they performed tricks that were often considered dangerous or downright stupid. Trinity had always had a knack for being an enigma here; someone that caught attention more than he was often comfortable with.

Quiet and withdrawn, despite having the ability to show a charismatic nature, the Hybrid had a hard time figuring out how to handle other people. It was a little unnerving to have someone in his face if only for the fact that he didn't know whether to throw a harsh punch or allow a kiss to happen. He did well to appear as though he had a damn clue what was going on around him, but on the inside, his brain was a jumbled mess of wires, many of which were already short-circuited.

Soaring through the air on a motorbike or chancing killing himself or someone else in the Globe of Death had become the one thing he was familiar with. There was nothing overly complicated about operating a vehicle, let alone a smaller bike, and once he had gotten the hang of it, he had risen to new heights. Requiem had wanted to keep him for a slew of their own reasons: he was handsome, charismatic, skilled and fearless. Four traits that they looked for in new recruits.

He wasn't new anymore and as he walked along the perimeter that led him to his bike, he took the scene in the way that he always did. Flaring his nostrils out, he breathed in the many odd and mixed scents of the gathered people already cheering for the act that was presently on stage: the lion-tamer. Next, the sounds of angry, agitated roaring hit his overly sensitive ears as he walked along, shrugging on the red leather jacket that was signature of the style he had adopted.

Black gloves were slipped on after that as another wave of the crowds cheering caused a shiver to run up along his spine. They always did love to be entertained and vaguely, he could understand. From what he observed, people enjoyed danger. Swinging a leg on over the waiting motorbike, he dropped himself down onto the leather seat, taking the hard-shelled helmet that he knew he always had to wear. People died doing what he did, or they often broken fragile bones that ended with them being paralyzed for life.

While he was far more durable than most, he'd hit the ground a number of times and had experienced pain that had often gotten a negative reaction from the crowd. That was years ago, when he was still new. Listening to the sound of the bellowing showman announcing the next act over the hand-held speaker, Trinity lifted a gloved hand and gave a thumbs up. Revving the engine of his bike, he rolled forward as he followed the other riders towards the area that was decorated in large, high ramps, bunched up cars and fire-rings.

The circus always did have the 'go big or go home' theory. Kicking the bike into high gear, he raced towards the first big ramp, increasing his speed as the distance became shorter until he was gliding through the air. Tipping his body weight back, he edged the bike into a backflip, illuminated by the ring of fire in the middle of the stage. And like all other evenings, that's how this one began.

716
Starters are always rocky for me, so hopefully this works, rofl. Feel free to fast forward wherever you see fit in your post and if you need any clarification, just hit me up :)


@Kenzie
Nov 5 2017, 12:50 PM
16
posts
103 Shifter Fighter
Clouded Leopard
Life ain't always fair, but hell is living in resentment
Pard
go for it (fluid)
single as a pringle
'Lix

awards

Pretty Kitty
kenzie
she/her | EST | 3/3/3 | kenzie#5136
How many years had it been now? The thrill of performing under an actual big top more an nostalgic echo than clear reminisce. The clashing and layering of so many scents - food, sugar, sweat, anticipation - would have been jarring if it weren't for that nostalgia. Even so it took a few moments for Felix to reorient himself upon walking into the circus.

It had been too many years.

Been all but chased out of his most recent stint in a circus - one that wasn't built around people he had already had connections to, with friends yes, but not ones who were capable of understanding the way a strict schedule would chafe him quickly. Would practice and get a routine down, but not necessarily on the time table ascribed to them. It had been oddly uptight about schedules considering all the drugs that had floated through the tents. Oh well. The occasional impromptu performance could sooth the itch of missing all of this. God Felix had bought into the performances and theatricality with such enthusiasm; to the point it could become hard to tell who enjoyed the performances more him or the audience.

Though fighting suiting him well now. Still adrenaline and a kind of show.

But the leopard had always been more acrobat than stunt man, so those kinds of performances had tickled his fancy in a different way. Entertainment and enjoyment without any worry over a bittersweet yearning to be the one on stage. Partly because he was pretty sure he'd be likely to kill and/or maim someone attempting anything close to the stunts. Sure put him in front of a crowd with little more than some kind of platform, or bars, or another performer and the shifter was liable to dazzle whoever walked by.

All grins, floppy hair, and charm. Being hard to rile up and quick to laugh at himself helped too. Through it all at him and Felix would laugh his way through it. Or be a hairpin trigger away from indulging in a bit of violence if it went sour on behalf of someone else.

Able to draw in crowds and have no qualms about defending other performers had been rather important when he wasn't staying in the same town for more than a few days at a time.

People always did seem to take issue with travellers.

See, nostalgia just by walking into the place and readjusting to the complete bombardment of scents. Though despite all the nostalgia he wasn't going to bother with the food, instead a beer and a seat was more than enough. Would settle in to watch; it was debatable which parts he was more engaged in watching - the acrobats because he could relate to the work put in or the stunts because it was beyond his general realm of abilities.

At least until one of the stunt performers seemed familiar, piquing Felix's interest. Even though he had left his previous troupes he was still on good terms with many of those friends. Even though the circus name hadn't rung a bell didn't mean much - could have easily slipped his mind as technicalities were known to do. That was what had him hanging around as the main show had finished, slipping through the crowd until he found himself among the workers. Although his aim was diverted as Felix caught sight of another stunt performer - bike - and attention was sidetracked.


Hand lightly gripping his shoulder as a way of grabbing attention, "Hey so I gotta ask, with the whole ring of fire and bike flipping - which looks great have to give you that - does that ever bother your eyes much?" Question diverted from his initial one as Felix inhaled and caught the other man's scent. Going with the newer question, an easy and curious smile about his face.
Nov 8 2017, 04:06 PM
34
posts
74 Hybrid Black Market Errand Boy/Driver
wolf/vampire
"I wish I knew what it was like to care enough to carry on. I wish I knew what it was like to find a place where I belong...but I am machine, I never sleep, I keep my eyes wide open."
Children of Michael/Hybrid Shelter
Homosexual
Single/Unshipped
Trin

awards

In Training
Carnival
She/Her | PST | 3/3/3 | Codi#7635

"I wish I knew what it was like...
to find a place where I belong."

Flying through the air was an adrenaline rush that Trinity adored. Thus far, he had never encountered anything that had gotten his heart pumping so uncontrollably or had given him such a sense of freedom before. While he was sure there were other things that could get his heart pounding fast, he had yet to encounter them. There was just something about the circus, in general, that had a tendency to put the most restless soul at ease and perhaps that was why he always stuck to it.

He'd yet to venture out into San Francisco to explore the entire city as a whole but as of yet, there was a part of him that was hesitant. Maybe even a little bit afraid. Trinity stuck to what he knew and what he knew was the Requiem Circus, closed in spaces and a routine. It was a life that needed a bit of shaking up. After his performance was over, he had moved to walk his bike off to the side of the tent, kicking up the kickstand and grabbing a bottle of water as was that usual routine of his.

After such excitement, he was often left famished and in need of stepping away from the countless scents that tempted him. Tipping his head back, he sighed in contentment as the crisp water satiated his thirst. The last thing that he expected was for anyone to come looking for him, let alone someone that was unfamiliar. He was surprised by the hand to his shoulder, so much so that he tensed, swiveling around towards the one that had wanted to catch his attention.

When turquoise eyes landed on the handsome face and easy smile belonging to Felix, Trinity was taken off guard, despite the equally easy smile he offered back. Somehow, he'd been expecting someone less appealing. For a moment, speech stalled as he slowly took in the other's scent, inviting and dangerously sweet. Shifter. Forcing himself to concentrate, he shook his head and cleared his throat. "Only when I don't close my eyes."

Was he suggesting he always closed his eyes when performing that stunt? Quite possibly. Grinning a little wider, he flashed white teeth as he shrugged his shoulders backward, turning to face Felix further as he moved to lower the motorcycle helmet he held in one hand. "I've had my fair share of accidents. Boots catching on fire, that sort of thing. The fall's worse though, at least when you miss."

Babbling away, he felt the comfort that came along with talking to someone that had a good nature about them. Felix had that carefree look and smile that put Trinity at ease rather quickly which was a nice shade different from what he was used to. Shifting slightly on his feet, he tilted his head as he watched the other male curiously in return. People didn't often respond well to their personal bubbles being invaded so he did his best to stand at a distance, all while breathing him in.

After a short moment, he realized this might have been where names came in. Lifting his hand upwards to offer it out towards the shifter, he nodded. "I'm Trinity. You are?" Soft spoken with what sounded like a touch of a New York accent, the Hybrid waited, curious.

xxx
Notes

Dec 8 2017, 12:25 PM
16
posts
103 Shifter Fighter
Clouded Leopard
Life ain't always fair, but hell is living in resentment
Pard
go for it (fluid)
single as a pringle
'Lix

awards

Pretty Kitty
kenzie
she/her | EST | 3/3/3 | kenzie#5136
Even with all the clashing sounds and sights and scents there was something incredibly comforting in the chaos of it all. The whirlwind of activity that for the moment was largely background noise, little more than the kind of ambient noise that spoke of life and joy and warmth. Well that was certainly nostalgic.

Sure the cacophony of scents made it near impossible to find someone - or in this case to see if the performer was as familiar as they had seemed. It was rather hard to hunt them down without being able to follow a scent or know the layout of, well anything here. There was probably some kind of method to the madness, but it was a particular madness Felix wasn't familiar with and was navigating blindly.

Really it wasn't a surprise that something - someone - else had caught his attention and manage to redirect his focus.

Previous hunting forgotten in a new interest. Smile that wouldn't waver with the moment it took for the other man to speak. The suggestion barely fazed the leopard, only taking a few moments to consider the statement and nodding "Makes sense, neither the heat or whatever fumes from what's burning sounds appealing on the eyes. Best leave that part to the performer and performance huh?" Moved right over the implication of eyes closed stunts and right into a dad joke. Would hold off on a wink to go with the dad joke for now, until at least mid conversation with the stranger.

Even if there was some kind of familiarity for Felix, based on nothing ese then being a performer in a circus.

An exaggerated groan and quick nod, "A botched landing sucks. Though I gotta say, the worse part's after that. 'aving to deal with the 'ealing and not being able to actually do much of anything." Pent up energy with no satisfying outlet. Aggravating when he was forced to sit out of performances because of it, and Felix was willing to bet it was just as annoying - if not more so because a break that possibly involved a motorcycle landing on top of you - for him as well.

Him. Right, Felix had just sauntered up and starting talking without actually knowing the poor performer's name. Just 'oh fellow carnie, let me invade your space and make dad jokes at you'.

At least it'd gone well so far? He wasn't exactly as relaxed as Felix was, but hadn't lashed out either. Counted as a win. Oh, apparently the leopard wasn't the only one to realize names might be a little useful; better than referring to him as 'him'. God Felix hadn't even tried to distinguish the man's - Trinity's - scent from the mess of scents around them. Too caught up in that odd familiarity he felt and his own general laid back disposition.


"Right sorry. Felix. Might 'ave been good of me to start off with that, eh?" Chuckling at his own oversight. "Sounds like you're far from 'ome. Travelling long?" As if Felix himself had much room to talk. His own French Canadian accent resulting in dropped 'h's.
Dec 17 2017, 06:21 PM
34
posts
74 Hybrid Black Market Errand Boy/Driver
wolf/vampire
"I wish I knew what it was like to care enough to carry on. I wish I knew what it was like to find a place where I belong...but I am machine, I never sleep, I keep my eyes wide open."
Children of Michael/Hybrid Shelter
Homosexual
Single/Unshipped
Trin

awards

In Training
Carnival
She/Her | PST | 3/3/3 | Codi#7635

"I wish I knew what it was like...
to find a place where I belong."



Trinity had found a certain solace within the circus. A familiarity where he could be what and who he was without much hassle. While he knew how to navigate the rather bustling big top, it was never the mixture of scents that bothered him. It was often that he had trouble not sinking his teeth into the first tempting individual to feed from. It took a certain amount of control that was difficult when surrounded by so much chaos and sound, but he endured.

The corner of his mouth quirked upward as he watched Felix carefully. A laugh escaped him as he shrugged his shoulders back, grinning wider as he nodded. "Somethin' like that." Following his response up with a slight cringe, he seemed in quick agreement at the leopard's next set of words. "That's usually why I try extra hard not to land wrong. Feels like jail." He wasn't built for sitting still and waiting for anything to heal, not with how frustrated he could get being confined in any capacity.

If his limitations were due to his own stupidity, he did well not to make the same mistake twice. This meant a lot of practicing not allowing his bike to land on top of him if he did somehow miscalculate a flip or a jump. The pent up energy was the worst. Curiosity got the best of him as he tilted his head, moving to place his motorcycle helmet down in favor of having both of his hands free. "Sounds like you might have experience. You been in the circus before?"

There was something about him that looked like he might have been. Not seeming to mind the sudden intrusion into his space, Trinity continued to breath Felix in given that he was the closest individual to him. Far from a horrible thing for him given that the shifter seemed a friendly, talkative sort. It was nice to have a simple conversation with someone here. It opened up possibilities and a potential contact for him regarding how to navigate this large, expansive place.

"Nice to meet you, Felix. You're fine," he said, laughing again as he shook his head, raising a hand to dismiss the other man's apology. The accent was strange and one that he hadn't heard before, causing the hybrid to tilt his head in that curious manner again. "Been traveling for awhile. I think we're finally coming to a stop for a bit but you can't quote me on that. They don't really tell me much, y'know? I'm just the trick rider."

Here, he was the one to flash a wink at Felix, smirking a bit wider. Just the trick rider that endangered his life for the circus that dragged him around from loud city to loud city. He always had the option of leaving but then there was the question of where would he go? Still caught on the mention of being far from home, he pondered it quietly. Home. It sounded like a nice place, but he didn't know where home really was for him. "I'm still not really familiar with San Francisco. You got any tips on what to do around here?"





xxx
Notes

Today at 01:28 pm
16
posts
103 Shifter Fighter
Clouded Leopard
Life ain't always fair, but hell is living in resentment
Pard
go for it (fluid)
single as a pringle
'Lix

awards

Pretty Kitty
kenzie
she/her | EST | 3/3/3 | kenzie#5136
An empathetic nod. Jail without the bars was definitely an on the nose description of being forced to let your own body heal. Amounts of self control that Felix decidedly did not possess in any natural capacity.

Which so often resulted in longer healing times from sneaking out from under the watch eye of others and somehow managing to get himself into trouble.

Semi-regular occurrences with his particular weakness for challenges.

"Born and raised actually, though nothing quite like what you're doing. No motorcycle stunts back then, well until they got to be more common machines. I was, am, an acrobat. So landing right side up was still pretty important but I can say I'm mighty good at landing on my feet." A wink and he almost snickered, barely suppressing a blatant cat pun, because come on. Acro-cat's always land on their feet. "Russian bar and aerials were a specialty of mine." Added absently.

Less of a spectacle if he landed wrong - nothing but maybe a partner to be landing on top of Felix if something went wrong. Not fun, but not the worst thing in terms of what could go horribly wrong.

Of course it'd also been so long since he'd performed, since he'd travelled with a troop…

A laugh easily bubbled up, "Gotta focus on not getting crushed, sounds like it can take up a lot of focus. With all that who'd keep track of travel schedules? No one ever told us either. Something about spending too much time in the air to bother with the roads too." He grinned. "Not that that ever stopped the gossip over stops."

Shifted weight and fingers absently tapping away on his leg where they hung. More a sign of his being relaxed than any agitation. Years of near constantly movement made it hard to stay still, there was almost always some part of the leopard moving. "Depends what you like to do for fun. Beach, bar, shop, people watch, parks? Got all of those 'ere." He listed off easily with a shrug. "Personally I'm a fan of the park or beach to just relax. Find it's nice to sometimes just sit and watch, to not 'ave to worry over where I need to be. Not worrying over 'aving to pack up and make it to the next city or such."


"Unless of course you've got some weird niche 'obby? Or a 'ankering from something specific you're looking for?"

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